Have you ever been startled awake at night, and locked your gaze on a solid shadow? Did you stare at it, your heart hammering faster, and faster, as its humanoid shape remained hunched in the not too far away corner? Did you hug your comforter close while trying to remember if it might be a pile of clothing left unfolded? Did your chest ache and grow tight because you were holding your breath, and hoping, to recognize a hint of a shirt. An inanimate object? Have you ever counted to three, reached for the light, and could’ve sworn the shadow had moved towards you just before? Ever sighed in relief then wondered, if the sandman puts you to sleep then…who brings the nightmare? And
did you leave the closet door open?
I awakened to the sounds of my pleasure, to the rough feeling of the ceiling upon my naked breasts, and the weight of whispering air pinning me in place as fullness occupied me and expanded. This wasn’t what I’d had in mind when I asked the Ouija board for a sign, but perhaps whatever this was…would stay. Maybe, even love me in time.
i feel different yet the same
on the shore of his family’s lake house, idle
like the sentries beside their monarch
bashfully peeking from behind soot-grey clouds
treading listlessly in imitation of his
hand reminiscing our pleasures my pain.
i am quietly in the flux of thought, happy
that he is happy but…
i feel different, yet the same
I taste bitten fruit on his lips,
feel the disdain in my spine
recoiling to the tang and pang, and
the door looks inviting
with its wide open, space, its
air my lungs are in need of.
is it the day to end this atrophy
this pretension weathered by the
vicissitudes of nostalgic love.
Do I race for the threshold, or
stay and stain my lips too?